4 Reasons Young Men Are Consumed by Anxiety After Falling Short in Life and How to Turn It Around

Let’s be honest—anxiety stinks. To me, anxiety has always been one of the most unpleasant feelings out there, especially when paired with a lack of clarity.

It seems to lurk around every corner, ready to disrupt my life. I’ve tried countless coping strategies over the years, some helpful and some not, just to make the anxiety go away. It’s the polar opposite of happiness—an uneasy signal that something isn’t right and needs to change.

But here’s the thing: as awful as anxiety feels, it’s actually useful. Anxiety is our mind’s way of telling us to pay attention and take action. It’s like an alarm ringing loudly when we’ve strayed off course from our values and goals. Though its persistence can feel overwhelming, anxiety stems from a deep human need for meaning and direction.

The purpose of this article is to open up new perspectives on harnessing anxiety as a compass to guide you where you want to go. By viewing anxiety as a prompt for reflection and change rather than something to resist, we can use its energy constructively. My own journey has taught me that each wave of anxiety contains insight about myself and my path forward, if I listen carefully. With the right mindset and tools, anxiety can motivate us rather than paralyze us.

While anxiety may always be part of life, its power over us diminishes greatly when we stop fighting it and start working with it. If we respond to anxiety with curiosity about what it’s trying to tell us, it can point us to greater self-awareness, authenticity, and joy.

Strategy 1: Conquering Anxiety: The Power of Observation

Anxiety almost always arises in situations where the outcomes aren’t clear, which is, of course, 99% of the time.

That said, it allows us to step back and realize that it is actually pretty normal to feel anxious. There isn’t anything wrong with you as a person; it is totally natural. There are, of course, different levels of anxiety, from simple feelings of unease to full-blown panic attacks, and we shouldn’t treat them equally. But there is one thing they all have in common, and that’s the unnecessary notion that comes with the feeling that somehow we are anxious people. We tend to identify with the feeling rather than just observe it as it arises and finally subsides (which it always does).

The mere act of observing the emotion and feeling rather than identifying with it is a meditation or spiritual practice in itself that allows you to regain power and lessens its grip on you.

Strategy 2: How to deal with anxiety in real time

Now that we have gained some clarity about the feeling and what it is not, we can now start to deal with it differently.

The majority of people’s fight or flight response goes into overdrive when they are experiencing anxiety, and as a result, we will do anything to stop the feeling right away. This is where most substance abuse habits begin. I have been there, tried it all repeatedly over many years, and yes, I am here to tell you one more time as if you hadn’t heard this before. They don’t fucking work; they make it worse. A lot!

So you might just take my word on this one and try two resources I have successfully used after quitting everything related to drugs and alcohol. (I have been sober and clean for almost 2 years.) Number one is breathing techniques combined with meditation. If you just want to experience the benefits right away, then I recommend the Wim Hof Method and if you want to have additional resources and rationalize it even beyond the simple practice, I highly recommend the book Breath by James Nestor. Combined, this should give you a powerful tool to tackle the problem in real time, which is really what most of us desire. Because it can be overwhelming when it happens, we need to be able to step back, take a breath, and then interrupt the usual patterns by injecting this into a healthy routine. Read that one more time, and understand that the keyword here is “healthy.”

Strategy 3: Inspection and Self-Observation

Let’s pause for a moment and remember that there is a reason we are dealing with the feeling of anxiety in the first place.

Gaining new perspective, reframing, and tackling anxiety attacks in real time is really only one part of the equation.

It would be negligent to stop here since the root cause of the negativity that shows up in our lives hasn’t been addressed yet. What we have done so far is just treat the symptoms by lessening their effect on our bodies. Breathing can help us self-regulate and get back to homeostasis. Now, with calm and more clarity of mind, we can ask ourselves emotionally detachedly: What is my subconscious mind trying to tell me about this situation? Or, put differently, what am I doing or not doing that causes my body to respond that way?

Most of the time, there is a gap between the person we would like to become and the necessary action we would have to take to get there. In short, we are not living up to our own expectations and fall short.

Here is where we want to align our actions with what our purpose in life might be, but that requires deep work within ourselves and is really a journey that never ends. Also, be aware that perfectionism is your enemy. Just take action and see what happens. Get feedback and repeat.

Strategy 4: Your struggles are the path to happiness

Another book with a profound impact on myself that I would like to recommend is “The Obstacle is the Way” by Ryan Holiday.

There is beauty in recognizing that we are the heroes of our own journey. The ups and downs, the constant struggles, and the hardships are what make us who we are. We can absolutely choose to be grateful to have them, since we wouldn’t be able to appreciate the good times without these moments of despair. It is just a decision we can consciously make. Pain is an essential part of life, and it is how we respond to it that ultimately defines us.

Those of us who take on the challenges as catalysts to grow, to become better, stronger, and more resilient, remember that this is how legends are created—the tougher the battle, the bigger the rewards.

Let’s repeat that one more time. Say it out loud. “I am grateful for the challenges and struggles that life has thrown at me.”

How does that make you feel?

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