3 New Years Reflections For Young Men: Living on Your Own Terms

Let us smash the cycle of mediocrity in 2024 and build your road to greatness.

If you are reading this, you are most likely already preparing yourself for your next move. You dream of Living on Your Own Terms

If you’re like me, you’re seeking to make changes and improve yourself, achieve greater success, find a new partner, or, in short, live an extraordinary life!

Since you have no clue where you are headed, you are looking for inspiration and advice from the people you think have already walked the walk. The ones who took the road you want to take as well.

Generally speaking, modeling successful people around you is good advice, right?

Success leaves breadcrumbs.

It´s true. It does. Just be careful with what you wish for, because you might end up on a road you should never have taken in the first place.

The question is:

Are you walking the path of your true north and how do you even know?

Here are some reflections on the lessons I learned this year.

Internal vs external orientation: become still

We give away so much energy obsessing over what other people think of us and this is probably the number one cause of being misguided.

It is such a simple concept but it is so hard to do. I believe we are biologically hardwired to feel shame, guilt, envy and all the other negative emotions towards other people.

Our survival instincts tell us that we should be concerned since, once upon a time, being banished from the tribe was a real possibility.

But, more often than not, fear, which is the root cause, is irrational and will drown you. By doing so, you let idiots ruin your life.

Let’s face it. Most people who you believe have a grudge against you don’t even remember you. If you are externally oriented regarding important decisions in your life instead of internally, you are screwed.

Misery ensues every time.

Not even your parents know you well enough to know what is good for you and what is not, so why would you even care for a second what other people think of you or about the opinion they might have?

Part of the reason that certain cultures throughout history have traditionally celebrated initiation procedures for men is to alleviate those concerns and empower the leader within us.

To survive and thrive in any circumstance. We should take the lead as men.

Leaders are not born. They are made.

When you are out there alone in the wilderness, you have no choice but to fully rely on your inner voice and intuition. That is how you become better at it. It is called exposure therapy and it works like a charm. It is hard, it is brutal but it always works.

If you feel like shit more often than not, then get lost. If you haven´t then it is never too late to face these demons.

2024 is your year. Get out there, walk away and conquer something.

Start with yourself, become still and listen to your inner voice

Celebrate your struggles; rejoice in them. Cry alone

It´s those very moments of pain and sorrow that will ultimately allow your true character to shine through.

You feel invisible to the people you admire because you are.

Let me tell you the hard truth:

No one will care about you as a man unless you make a difference. Empathy is reserved for females and children. Women don´t give a f*ck about your weaknesses and struggles. They just don’t.

“Women don’t care about your struggles. They wait at the finish line and pick the winners.” Richard Cooper

That´s why becoming emotional or showing your weaknesses is the worst advice out there and of course, it is complete nonsense made up by feminists.

I am not saying that being vulnerable is a bad thing; we all are, and that is part of human nature. What I am saying is that recognizing it doesn’t mean you should project it.

Instead, aim for a stoic approach. Stillness is the key.

Purpose is found within.

How do I know?

Because of genuine interest in spiritual leaders, anecdotal evidence and experience. That is, of course, not bulletproof, but I am also not claiming to be the only source you should listen to.

Here is my story. I have had it all. I was chasing money and I amassed enough to buy a house on the beach and Porsche cash until it evaporated

A few of my friends are renowned dating coaches, like Alvaro Reyes and Mistery whom I both know personally. I even had my own dating coaching project.

The cold, harsh truth is that none of that matters to me in 2024. There are very few people who stick around when you go through a personal crisis.

Its messed up and it hurts. You can cry all day but it will still remain true.

Instagram and social media in general have turned the dating market upside down. Women hold all the power now and that is why being able to walk away is the strongest weapon you can possibly have.

Take your journal and write down your hardships. Let it out and give it a venue. Lean into it until it passes and then stand up and try to conquer something new.

Start with your composure. Phyiscality matters. How you breathe matters. Location matters. What you eat matters. What you focus on matters.

All things you have direct and immediate control over.

Most of the time, removing yourself from the equation is the best move. It is often the things we should not do that hurt us the most.

Slow down and find something that is grounded in truth.

If you can wake up early, watch a sunrise and find pleasure in documenting that with photography or just witnessing it, you have found a place to come back to when shit hits the fan.

Congratulations! You have just implemented a spiritual practice

Its ok to not know, to be lost, and to publish anyway

Remember that it is not supposed to be easy. That’s the whole point. You ought to struggle so you can get all these valuable reference points. The more painful, the bigger the comparison you are going to have.

The deeper the abyss, the greater the bliss.

Yes, you want it to be difficult. Try to approach your life like a scientist trying to solve a hyper-complicated riddle.

Find solace in the cold, hard truths. Become a master at discovering the hidden gems, whatever they might be. Be inquisitive.

Focus on today only; make it your spiritual practice.

Gems of spirituality, wisdom, and small achievements. Start documenting everything.

I should have started way earlier and not having started earlier is probably my biggest regret.

When writing this, I remember a saying from Mexico that my psychologist and friend Reynaldo used to say: “Todo requiere su tiempo de gestación,” which translates to “gestation period.”

Just as every animal has its own time of gestation, every creative project needs its own time to evolve and mature.

You are that project.

There are some people who believe personal brands will take over a big chunk of the creator economy, me included.

The creator economy is where content creators use their digital skills to make money, while personal branding is about shaping your unique online identity to be memorable and influential.

The latter allows you to have flaws and imperfections. In fact, I would argue that as long as you don´t hide them and you communicate authentically, it makes you more credible and will enhance your growth.

I know for example, that I have been terrible at communicating in the past. That is why I failed at my company and my first YouTube channel.

Accepting the truth about your flaws allows you to capitalize on them, learn and move on to try something new.

Make a commitment to publish every day, find your voice and practice publicly

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