The Paradox of Internal vs. External Orientation

I watched a YouTube video the other day from one of the biggest thought leaders out there, Robert Greene (The 48 Laws of Power) and he touched upon the subject of internal orientation as opposed to external orientation or validation. His insights delved into the profound impact of these orientations on personal growth and fulfillment.

One sets you free, the other destroys you.

This is something that strongly resonated with me because it touches upon the very notion of finding purpose from within and the catastrophic consequences of the lack thereof. Greene’s perspective illuminated the idea that true empowerment comes from an internal sense of direction rather than seeking approval or validation from external sources.

I know this to be true because of my own personal experience when I lost my livelihood in Mexico. Suddenly, I am stripped of everything. It stings to lose all of your money, relationships, and, in my case, my chosen home of 21 years. This period of my life was a stark reminder of how external achievements and material possessions are transient and can be lost in an instant.

What can kill you, however, is the perception of having lost your purpose.

The emotional and psychological toll was far greater than the physical loss. Suddenly, I was no longer that successful CEO, but a broke 44-year-old guy. This identity crisis was a jarring experience, challenging my notions of self-worth and success. I believe this is predominantly a men’s issue. I don´t have the exact statistics to back that claim up, but my gut tells me that it is at least partly responsible for the current male suicide epidemic.

The societal pressures on men to be successful providers can be overwhelming and crippling when faced with setbacks.

Luckily, after being lost for almost two years, I knew I had to find clarity and not stop moving forward. Introspection and a strong desire to rediscover my purpose were prominent during this time. I realized that there is no such thing as giving up.

I let go of any preconceived notion as to where I ought to be in life, accepted the reality I found myself in and started to enjoy the struggle again.

The journey back to finding myself was fraught with challenges, but it was and still is also a period of immense growth and self-discovery.

I know that deep inside, I will never cease to be an entrepreneur.

That intrinsic part of my identity remained intact, despite the external losses. I just needed to find a new, clear path forward. And so I bought a one-way ticket to Thailand in March 2022 with my last 600 euros.

This decision was a leap of faith; I had no idea where it would lead me.

I am so glad and grateful I did not give up because now I can tell you about my journey on The Uncharted Road. This journey is not just about geographic relocation but also a metaphorical journey towards self-discovery and reinvention. It’s my testament and attempt to overcome adversity and the human spirit’s capacity to find meaning in life’s most challenging moments.

When do we need internal vs. external orientation?

Although I am making a strong case to really orient yourself internally when it comes to important decisions in life for a variety of reasons, there is also a case for a balanced approach because there is no denying that we need external orientation as well.

It’s about finding the right balance between internal guidance and external input.

I think that the art consists in taking it in as valuable feedback to course correct since we also don’t want to end up being self-serving narcissists. It’s crucial to remain open to others’ perspectives and insights, as they can offer valuable viewpoints and help us avoid blind spots in our thinking and actions.

If the idea is to serve, give and create, then we have to take into account the feedback we get from our fellow humans but not fall into the mind trap of letting that feedback define our self-worth.

This balance is delicate and requires constant self-awareness and reflection. This is why continuous spiritual practice is so important, because one can know this to be true on a logical level and still fall prey to it.

Spiritual practices can help us stay grounded and maintain a healthy perspective on life, keeping us connected to our inner values and beliefs.

That’s how beautifully broken and imperfect we all are—the constant battle against the overtaking of the egotistical mind. We are all works in progress, navigating through life with our flaws and strengths. To make sure that our true selves are driving this journey rather than our egos, we must constantly check in with ourselves.

The ego is the enemy, as Ryan Holiday points out in his book. He provides a compelling examination of how our ego, which is frequently regarded as a source of confidence, can actually be a significant impediment to success and personal growth.

Holiday’s insights are a stark reminder that while confidence is key, an overinflated ego can blind us to our faults and prevent us from reaching our full potential.

According to Holiday, ego can distort our perception of reality, impede learning, and lead to failure. He emphasizes the importance of humility, self-awareness, and continuous learning through historical anecdotes and practical insights. These lessons are crucial for anyone seeking a more meaningful and successful life.

In short, a more purpose-driven approach to life.

Instead of letting fleeting external successes or failures influence us, it’s important to align our actions with our core values and purposes. This approach does not only lead to personal fulfillment but also contributes to a more balanced and compassionate world.

I think spirituality, which is the true internal orientation we want more of in our lives, is the key to a lot of problems because it offers an internal path not created by the mind but by the inner compass we all have innate. Spirituality allows us to connect with something greater than ourselves, providing a sense of peace and direction that is not contingent on external circumstances.

Our subconscious mind is connected to the source, a wellspring of wisdom and intuition that we can tap into.

Most of the time, we are just not listening. In our fast-paced, externally driven world, it’s easy to neglect this inner voice. But when we start to really listen, we discover a wealth of guidance and insight waiting to be explored. This internal journey is not always easy, but it is essential for true growth and happiness.

It’s about turning inward, even in a world that constantly pulls us outward, and finding our own unique path in life.

This is the battle of Internal Vs External Orientation

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All of this led me to go on a different path.

I call it The Uncharted Road Newsletter For Unapologetic Single Men Who Want True Freedom and Walk Away

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