5 Lessons For Young Men To Love Yourself Despite Continuous Failures And Respond To Challenges With…

First off, I want to contend that success or the lack thereof is predominantly a men’s issue.

Obviously, we first have to define success because it looks different for everyone, but for the sake of this essay, let’s just establish success as the ability to create wealth and abundance in relationships. The cold, harsh truth is that only men have to face the burden of performance since early in life and their ability to attract the opposite sex, which in itself for most men is the number one driving motivating factor and directly related to the skill of becoming “successful”.

Women do not necessarily need to be successful to attract high-value men, as men often value different qualities such as youth, physical beauty, loyalty, and the opposite of status or experience that women may prioritize. We appreciate qualities like purity and femininity.

Average women can just be pretty and end up with rich guys slipping into their DMs only to invite them on a yacht in Miami, with all the opportunities that ensue because of this. It happens all the time, but never the other way around.

Women are valued for being women, and men need to gain their respect and value. This is neither new nor surprising, but nevertheless, it is being neglected by current cultural mainstream narratives because it changes everything as to why and how we approach life’s challenges as men, and it is quite frankly shocking but not surprising how oblivious women are to this reality.

Lesson 1: Embrace The Effort As An Act Of Self-Love

The fact that you are reading this article is proof that you love yourself enough to seek help and support.

Believe me, this is a big one, because as men, we tend to isolate and work out our problems in solitude. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but often seeking out help is the right thing to do. When I lost my entire existence two years ago, my reaction was to go as far as I could and sort it out somehow (I bought a one-way ticket to Thailand with my last $800). I just couldn’t face the reality of what had happened and wanted “to find myself” because I was fundamentally lacking clarity and purpose, which is what hurt me the most.

Know that there is a way out of the mess you have created for yourself; you just haven’t found it yet.

Lesson 2: Gaining Perspective Through Distance And Reframing

One of the most undervalued skills is the ability to “Let Go” and accept.

Again, I believe men are at a serious disadvantage here since we are creatures of purpose, and without it, we aimlessly wander, and depressing thoughts arise. After my bankruptcy, which eliminated my livelihood, 12 years of work, and a 7-figure business with over 60 employees, I then continued to run into more failures, thinking that making my passion for photography a business was a good idea. But it turned out I was not good enough, and I was also a terrible filmmaker, which is why my first YouTube channel failed. Writing this essay is an attempt to gain perspective, make sense, and find purpose again in itself.

Pause and reflect, avoid the shiny object syndrome, and take the time to really analyze what happened so you can create a new ambitious plan.

Lesson 3: Values, Purpose, and a Happy Life

Clarity is everything; motivation is overrated.

Let’s put it this way: If you already knew how to achieve what you want in your life, regardless of what that is, would you lack any motivation to do what needs to be done to get there? The answer for most of us is, “Hell no, I would bust my ass and do whatever is necessary to get there!”

This is a tough one because no amount of effort can compensate for a lack of purpose. Eventually, you will have to face reality and live up to your true self.

Lesson 4: Hold On To The Jackpot Theory

Even in moments of despair, there are unshakable truths and wisdoms you can build upon, and one of these is that in business, you only have to get it right once!

I don’t care how many failures you might have had; just know that getting it right one single time can be enough to let you retire without the need to work ever again. I know this from experience; I just messed up and lost it again, but I know this is true. I envy the people who know from a very young age what their purpose is in life; this is one of the most undervalued gifts in life. Knowing your purpose is everything.

Fail as much as you can and as fast as you can when the stakes are low until you hit the jackpot.

Lesson 5: Aim For Consistent Small Wins

Success is built on consistency and small daily wins by putting in the daily work and keeping at it.

The best source I could possibly come up with to illustrate this is the book “Atomic Habits” by James Clear, where the incredible results of building consistent habits of repeating small but constant work build up to extraordinary outcomes. Another very different but equally inspiring book is “Endure” by Cameron Hanes. Once you know the direction you are headed, nothing can stop you except for yourself.

One more time, find your purpose and then keep hammering; it’s nothing else that matters.

If negativity, despair, and frustration brought you here, and this was helpful, then please leave me a comment. You are not alone!

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